My first

I don´t really know why I´m writing about this here..
Maybe it´s because I´ve built up so many different mixed up feelings about myself and about my relationship and now I just need to let it out.

Soooo..
A little backstory for you.

I have had a boyfriend now for over a year. We met on Tinder. Cool, right?
Anyways.
In the beginning it was cool. We met, we hung out, we talked for hours on the first day and i fell for him bad. After that I kind of ran back and forth between my moms place where I was living at that time and his apartment. After two months I just moved in. Like... Just appeared there with my pilllow one day and that was that. In about an month we adopted a cat. Life was great. I was learning swedish for my oncoming job(which now pays me about a 1000 in a month).

Buuuut now.

I don´t know. I just have these mixed feelings because i feel like I´m being used. I mean that...Okay...Those of you who have children. You tell them to wash the dishes. In 2 hours they have not done it and you just do it yourself because if you don´t do it then noone will....It´s like that but I just have a 23 year old grown up who functions the same way. I feel like a maid. He does nothing. He is one of those lazy ones...Very lazy ones.
I make more money than he does and i feel that this plays a pretty big role in out lives. Since we live together we have decided to split the rent and water and electricity bill or whatever. But that´s it. I feel that our expences are devided 70/30...Me having 70 and he 30...

In all that there is one little detail i have not mentioned.

I am talking with one of my ex-boyfriends again. We did not end things on bad terms. We both thought it was a good idea at that time(about 3 years ago) and we acctualy have been friends. My current boyfriend is on vocation right now and I am all alone soooooo... I invited him over so he could see a movie that I happened to have and the next day I invited him over so he could eat some sushi because I just know how to make it and he really wanted sushi. Later that day we went to see a movie in the cinema. He is awesome.

In those 2 days he was over at my apartment for about 6 hours in total and in those 2 days that he was here he did more work than my current boyfriend has done in 2 months. I did not even have to ask for any help. Did not even expect it but he still did it. Just because.
When i ask my current boyfriend to something then he has to whine because he has to... Get up... From the bed...Imagine  that...How horrible.

During the last 2 weeks i have been thinking about my situation and i have been making a speech in my head about the things i need to say to him and it makes me really sad because I do NOT want to be the bitch.

I have never really done the whole blog thing. I just need to vent. Am i being too judgmental about the whole situation. Because i really feel that if i am with someone who does not appreciate me in a way that i need, then I´m better off alone. I have done the math. I can live alone due my salary.